I’m a 28 year old guy living with my 28 year old girlfriend in the DMV area, and I’m starting to feel like I’m falling short even though I feel like I’m doing a lot.
I make about $70,000 a year. Our rent is $2,300 a month. I pay 60% of that, which comes out to $1,380, and she pays the remaining 40%, which is $920. I also cover the electric bill, which has been around $250 a month for the first few months. She takes care of the Xfinity bill, which is $70 a month. I also pay for most of our groceries.
On top of that, whenever we go out, whether it’s grabbing lunch, doing an activity, or going on a date, I’m pretty much expected to pay and take care of it. Thinking back over the last eight months we’ve been together, I can count on one hand the number of times she’s paid for anything.
I also still make an effort to take her out at least once a week and buy her gifts here and there like flowers or paintings.
Around the house, I help with laundry, dishes, and cooking. I feel like we split responsibilities pretty fairly.
She does make less money than I do, so I’ve tried to step up more financially to make things easier for both of us. I genuinely want to provide and be a good partner.
But lately, she’s been making me feel like it’s still not enough. Not always directly, but through comments and expectations, and it’s starting to get in my head.
I’m trying to figure out if I’m actually underperforming as a partner financially or if the expectations might be unrealistic. I want this to feel like a partnership, not like I’m constantly trying to prove I’m doing enough.
Curious how others would view this situation. What’s fair here? I’d especially appreciate a female perspective on this.
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